Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… I saw that some of your interests were the same as mine,” or something along those lines.Also, some of the messages I got were from a few guys that ranged from early 40’s to late 40’s and I was maybe 19 at the time.The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.This experience is best exemplified by my close friend who I will call Eric.
RD: Do you have any advice for women out there who use online dating sites and might be reading this? It’s so frustrating, because you know, I think a lot of really nice guys out there could make for amazing boyfriends who would treat these lonely, single women like they deserve to be treated. Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating services.Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best “first impressions”. I know people who have had great successes with online dating! I have a strong preference toward meeting people in person FIRST, instead of online first. RD: How did you eventually end up meeting the guy you ended up marrying?Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. RD: If there are guys looking to actually get the attention of a girl on these dating sites, do you have any advice for them? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university.In other cases, I’ve seen profiles that have a 40-50% match with mine, but from the profile I can see pretty easily that they would be perfect with me – common sense of humor, common belief system, everything.So, I really don’t think it’s a proven science quite yet.Those messages made me run far, far away from online dating.In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.Like, OKCupid gives you a percentage of match or non-match you are with certain people.In some cases, I’ve read the profile of a 90 % match and find myself wondering what in the world the developer is smoking.